FAIL: My Bantu Knot Out, That Bantu Didnt!

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Peace, From Broken Pieces. How to get Through, what your going Through.

My home-life has been very rough, patchy, off and on lately. My emotional state has been a freaking roller-coaster. In December of 2010 and beyond that, that was my life all of the time. I couldn’t get past it. I could have been depressed, but I felt I was too much of a woman on the come up to even entertain that. I moved to New York in April 2010 to get away from “it all”. I needed a mental vacation. Unfortunately, I still took some of what I was running from to New York. I needed a change, break through or break down. None of that came until December of 2010 when I discovered positive affirmations and a book/documentary called The Secret.

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I became obsessed with working on me from the inside out. The affirmations and the documentary gave me a new brain. I noticed changes in my life and my over all happiness. I was happy just because. In March of 2011 I moved back to MD with a new found sense of self and I wanted to share it with EVERYBODY. Of course as time moved on, I got busy with working, working on a healthier life and a new relationship.

I seem to have lost my way a bit. I feel like I’ve left my happiness in the hands of someone else, when its me who should be carrying it. I hate to feel that way. Recently, I came across a book by Iyanla Vanzant called “Peace, From Broken Pieces. How to get Through, what your going Through.”

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This book could not have come at a better time. But, I love Iyanla too. She speaks from a spiritual (not religious), point of view. She carefully teaches you and breaks down your troubles as if she was teaching abc’s to a 3 year old. I look up to her a lot. If common sense had a face, it would be Iyanla. I am quitely transitioning back into the woman I became 3 years ago. I am going to study, be MORE patient than I have already been and hit the reset button on my life. But most importantly, I am going to take my happy back.

2/14 ~ OF COURSE We are gonna speak about it…. Valentine’s Day!

Last year was the first V-Day for the boyfriend and I. He did the romantic thing and I did food from his favorite place, some candles… blah blah thing. This year, my suggestion for V-Day was/is… who cares. Here come the cliches… but I want my V-Day to be whenever, not just on the “designated” day. Love me just as much as any day everyday, get me flowers just because, find the little things I like because it makes you feel good to do so… However, if even with all of that you still decided to do something on that day too… because it signals the Day of Love, that’s cool too. He agreed, so that’s our plan for this year. No disappoints because I didn’t get you anything, or wasn’t romantic enough.

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For me, when you’ve truly found love, big and little things come easy on the desire to fulfill you and your  partner. Hell even doing the dishes or cooking for your partner can be good, because those are things you do for the well being of you and her/him. When your V-Day is everyday, or week, or month… the actual V-Day is just a Day.  That’s the kinda love I give and what I expect in return.

Time for Me, She, Her (Spouse Relationship Lessons)

Before I met my boyfriend, I was single for 7 years. I dated from here to there, but nothing as serious as now. While I did long to have a companion beside me to do things with, and share moments/time with… One thing I did learn to appreciate is how to enjoy time with just ME.

Even though I already spent a lot of time with just me, because I lived alone, I enjoyed it. I would light candles, my fireplace (when I had one) and snuggle on my couch and watch movies that made me laugh or smile. Now that I am in a relationship, I still haven’t lost that part of myself.

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Whenever my boyfriends says “Babe, I’m gonna go hang out, be back in a few hours”, I light up inside. I immediately imagine myself snuggled up on the couch, with candles lite, drinking some spiced chai with cookies, and watching a movie and just enjoying….. me, she, her time. And before I know it, time flies by and he’s home again, I like that part too.

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Lesson: You should learn to love and enjoy time with yourself. This way you’re not always relying on your partner to MAKE you happy. Happiness comes from within.